Sex, and Why It's Bad For You.

"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as far as empty experiences go, it's one of the best"
-Woody Allen

In my opinion, it is not quite so innocuous as that. Casual sex, sex without personal and socially sanctioned commitment between the partners, can be dangerous and evil. This is true for many reasons, and here I present one:

Behavior is inertial; even if we don't make any choices or exert will, we still engage in behavior. If I'm hungry, it takes more effort, and is therefore more of an activity, to refrain from eating than to eat. In such a case non-behavior is more active than behavior. One's default behavior in a given class of circumstances is a habit. Habits can be changed by an experience or by thinking, but the most effective way to change one's habits is by willful action in opposition to the habit in the given circumstance-class. This will be called changing one's pattern of behavior.

For most people, whether by nature or nurture, sex is by default a powerful connective mechanism reinforcing a very close relationship. Even if this is not the only default position, I would argue that it is possible for the sexual relationship to have this effect, and one ought to still retain openness for it when possible. To lose this ability is a great loss.

Say I want to engage sexually with this woman with whom I do not hold a commited relationship. Either (1) I do not want a commited relationship with her, or (2) I do, but have not (yet) developed one.

If (1): Fine, we're two consenting adults, so what's the problem? Being that by default I should feel this close bond, if I am not to feel it - which is my intention in this case - I have to actively change my habit to this association. I have to dissociate in my mind and life the close tie between sex and commited love. The result is a change in my pattern of behavior. I slowly lose my habit for associating sex with love. The terrible consequence is that down the road it will be more difficult to create a good, real, meaningful, commited sexual relationship.

If (2): Either (A) I think it's appropriate to commit to her, or (B) I don't yet know if it is appropriate.

If (2-A): Then put your money where your mouth is and commit to her with the sanction of the law. Take the appropriate steps and you're in the clear. This argument only objects to casual sex.

If (2-B). then either

(I) It isn't an appropriate relationship. The sex will, by default we argue, make me like her and want to commit to her. If we stay together, then, we will be stuck in a bad relationship, and I'll find it out hard when the flourish fades. If we do not, then I am ever more likely to dissociate sex with commited love. 

(II) It is an appropriate relationship. These often don't work out either. If it does not, then if I had already been having sex with her, not only will that tend to the dissociation of sex with commited love, but probably more so than in any of the other cases, because it will advance a cynicism: "I though that this sex was a token of great love and commitment, but it's all loss and a waste of time."

If it does work out in (2-B-II), then what can I say? Lucky you.

Water is a Mineral

Well, more accurately, water is a lava, a magma when it's underground. In some parts of the Earth - in some times in Earth's history and destiny quite a lot of it - as in much of the rest of the universe, H2O is a kind of a rock. Water is thus molten rock - lava.

A geyser is literally a volcano.

In addition, geology divides rocks into basically three main classess: Igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic. Igneous rocks are rocks formed from frozen lava or magma. Rocks that form by pre-existing rock particles that get smashed or cemented together are sedimentary; rocks that get smashed together with so much intensity that they actually change their chemical structure are metamorphic. But if you think about it, all of the earth was molten once. All the rocks that form from lava that freezes are igneous rocks. The pre-existing material constituting sedimentary and metamorphic rocks are igneous rocks.

Thus, all rock is igneous rock.

Ice is also igneous rock, as water is lava. Thus, all the mineral part of Earth is Lava and the igneous rocks formed from it.

This message was brought to you by the Association for the Unification of All Things.

Belong. A song.

It's a song. this is not the proper experience of it, but I think it's pretty good as a poem too.

Its all been done before
Nothing original, nothing compelling
But still I reach for more
Nothing will satisfy, restless and reckless I
 Reach for the gold at the end of the road
 Hoping there’s still something left there for me
 A moment of truth but yet something is missing

The drive for success is a symptom of pride
The end’s the beginning of the other side
Now that I’m here I am somewhere where I don’t belong

Lists of projects compiled in haste
Some are repeated; none are completed
Is it too much to just want a taste?
I’m frustrated, prostrate, uncertain and bound yet I
 Reach for the stars at the top of the sky
 Blocked by the gloom of the clouds in the night
 I can see nothing, a word full of nothing

When I was younger I thought I was wise
My inspiration was my guarded prize
And by its light I have walked to where I don’t belong

It’s stormy, it’s steamy
Its beauty is cold
Regret makes my heart beat
At least there is something still there
Where am I?

Sounds of the city streets screaming in pain…

We’ve reached a fork at the end of the road
Jump to conclusions, the future untold
Far from the goal but yet closer by steps
Even if you have traversed the whole world
Sailed all the oceans and kissed all the girls
The wave that you’ve left in your wake will soon settle
Into naught

A quick review of the deeds you have done
For insight, for grace, for salvation or fun
How will I know if I lived my life rightly or wrong
I don’t know where I belong

© 2007 by Dave the Philosopher